i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize