I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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