she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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