I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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