They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize