my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
and i looked up. we had an audience...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
