So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize