I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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