My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
