There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
