Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
