On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
