Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
