we're blogging at a bar
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
