Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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