Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
