oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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