If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
