yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
