Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
