I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
