my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
