Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Sex in the backyard? Check.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
