people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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