Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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