she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
It's never too late to be topless.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
