i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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