my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
