I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
