Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place

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(206): View more from Washington

He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.

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(540): View more from Virginia

What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?

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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt

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(301): View more from Maryland

"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.

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(949): View more from California

My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.

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(904): View more from Florida

I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it

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