Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
