Fine. I'll sleep in my office
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
