Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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