so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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