your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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