An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
