I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
