Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize