Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize