Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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