how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Dignity is for republicans.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
