i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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