So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
