today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize