I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
