Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
