Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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