Its about making memories worth repressing
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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