"it" just moved
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
