so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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