YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
