Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
