how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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