Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
