weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
