As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
