I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
