I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
