Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
