Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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