Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
