So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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