Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
