i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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