Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
