hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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