What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize