1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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