I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
