I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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