he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Someone came in the potted fern
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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