Don't make out with my wife yet
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
