TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
this just has baby written all over it
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
