It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
