What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
