u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
