i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Can you bring me the toilet please
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
