I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize