Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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