So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
