i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
