hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize