Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Found your dick twin last night
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
