I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
