im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
