Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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