Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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